Your story, needs to be told.

 

Do you have a story or just a history?  

That is a question I put out on social media recently and the feedback was amazing. I also said that showing your vulnerability to others is a way of, not looking for sympathy, but a way of people being able to connect with you and feel they know who you are.

One of the lines I say to my clients is 'What if I told you that no-one knows who you are until you’ve found, written and told your brand story".  A look of panic crosses their faces! 

So here I thought I would share a bit of my story - not because it's as traumatic as many others, (that's not the point) but to put a frame of reference as to why and how I  came to be where I am. It that has nothing to do with wanting sympathy, judgement or anything else, it is just a look at all the events that made me, me. It also gives the reader the chance to see a connection with me maybe based on one of my experiences. This is why I encourage my clients to write their own story.

I sat down in my 50’s and looked at my past career path, which has been a  winding pathway, like lots of other peoples, but I wanted to examine it to see if there was a common thread, I had read somewhere that this was a great thing to do, I now encourage all my clients to do the same.

I realised that there was a pivotal point for me aged 5. Growing up I thought I had dealt with and it and that it was in the past, I have and it is, but it is still a part of me that who makes me who I am...

My baby sister came screaming into the world and my father abandoned us and went to live in Australia to be with his new family!

Those two incidents, in my mind, happened within seconds of each other, of course that's not true the actual time frame was probably 18 months ( I think my life changed a lot in those 18 months).

I knew my father had chosen to be with another woman, that bit didn't really bother me but she had a son who was my age! Now, that did bother me, as he was 'obviously' better than I was, as my father had chosen to be with him and not me.

I took it upon myself as a young child  that this meant 'everyone is better than me'. My dad preferred someone else and therefore so would everyone else. Back in the early 70's having divorced parents was ( in my environment) a very uncommon occurrence and not looked upon favourably, I didn't have any contact with him and no family members ever mentioned him again and most photos were destroyed, I remember wishing, so hard, that it could be different and that he had died, because then people would ask me how I was, instead of me feeling embarrassed and that I had to hide the truth. It made me different, and therefore vulnerable.

I started school about 3 months after my sister was born - I remember that my sister wasn't very well and I had to be taken to school, by an older child, whom I don't remember knowing, feeling petrified and alone - Dad wasn't really around as (I presume) he was working shifts and nights as a Charge Nurse in a Psychiatric hospital).

Starting school caused problems, as an undiagnosed dyslexic ( don’t think it was recognised in the ’60s and really wasn't confirmed for me until I had my own children who are dyslexic),  I was labelled as stupid and kept down in the baby class, that I guess didn't really helped my self confidence -  I was unable to grasp reading until I was nearly 8 - once I did, reading became my escape  and I didn't have my nose out of a book after that, usually crime or supernatural novels! in later life that turned to self development and psychology.

So my childhood was the stem (as it often is) of not feeling good enough!  -  however my mother, who had to become a single parent (with no weekends off) - did a phenomenal job of bringing both my sister and I up, with a great set of values.

I realised that I spent years trying to heal myself by helping others, because if I did, people would like me... these weren't conscious thoughts, but maturity and hindsight have been a great mirror.

I now recognise that I helped because...

  • I wanted to be good enough to make my dad come back (never going to happen)… I didn’t see him again until I was 36 (but that's another story, that could have made a great film!)
  • It made me feel useful instead of stupid (I somehow knew I wasn’t but all the 'pointers' said that I was)
  • It gave me a something I was good at! It therefore became my role at school, if anyone was ill, new, or in tears, I was there! - it allowed me to feel validated and receive positive feedback

So I carried on helping into adulthood because...

1. I liked the feeling it gave (selfish?, but when we're honest, helping always makes us feel better)

2. I was good at it, so the tendency to help was probably in my genetic makeup anyway.

I looked back at my history and realised that over the years I had -

  • Volunteered for this and that
  • Gone into nursing (RGN)
  • Sat with the dying
  • Helped cancer patients with their ‘bad news’
  • Became successful in my field as an Oncology Nurse Specialist
  • Got married - helped my husbands career by losing mine
  • Bought up our 3 girls and volunteered for countless ‘helping' jobs
  • Even had my children describe me as a ‘problem solver’
  • Become a stylist and helped people overcome their issues with body shape and wardrobes.
  • And now …

I always thought I understood myself, but then came a time when I needed a coach to help me find the right direction, with what was then, a small styling business. During coaching I had to really investigate me, and low and behold (lightbulb moment) I found out who I was and where all my past experiences were taking me, EUREKA!

I finally found my personal brand that included all my past, my personality, my issues, and my passions.

I'm a lover of music theatre, food, colour and dogs

A housework hater but love interior design and sorting out.

I don't do politics, religion or drama on social media.

I believe in fairness, respect and loyalty,

Compassion (this is where the helping comes in) and creativity are 2 of my strengths!

I can't spell and filling in forms of any sort, panics me.

So how does that make a brand?

Knowing these things about yourself and how to put them over are the key to having a successful Personal Brand that people; like, trust and then buy into.

Once I'd discovered how powerful that could be, I did the same for others -  a lovely lady who was a clinical psychologist came to me - her whole brand was based around the word 'clinical' we discovered so much about her,  that her whole brand and marketing  became much softer, caring, encompassing, and  a non judgemental therapy! - It changed her business for the better.

What I love most about my work is that breakthrough moment – the literal Goosebumps moment – when the (metaphorical) clouds part and my client gets that crystal clear clarity about their business, knowing who they are, what they stand for, who they serve – and how to attract their ideal clients.

 

 YOU CAN HAVE THE SAME

I'd love to work with you and enable you and your business to make an even bigger impact.


All you need to do is click here and lets chat -

BOOK HERE   

Love

Sally Inkster Finding Brand YOU!

What is a personal Brand?

''It's who you are, your values and beliefs and the ENERGY you bring to all you do''

 

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